DATING & MATING DIARIES:
One thing that has been further proven for me, is the theory on ‘actual’ match up, versus that of perception. Men and women alike, will place little consideration on the balance of commonality. Either someone has an inflated outlook about themselves, or simply feels as though it’s worth a shot to put themselves out there.
In lamen terms, they think that they are all that and a bag of chips, and will take bold moves in hitting up someone who is way out of their league. This is not a stuck up or superficial assessment, as some of these people attempt to ‘date up’ when they bring little in return.
A man’s profile will display a handsome photo, and detail all of his great offerings. A masters degree, great job, fun and outgoing…loves to work out and be active, and his photo confirms this with abs of steel and a stupendous body. I have guy friends, and I help manage and set up their online accounts.
And even though his profile clearly states that he is looking for someone who shares his qualities… Do you know how many women will hit him up that are the polar opposite of what he seeks?
He gets more hits in one day, than anyone can imagine.
“hey there handsome. I thought we’d be a good match…” says the chick with the pierced nose and pink hair. She weighs in excess of triple his IQ, yet her IQ is less than the measurement of his penis.
She is convinced that she has a shot, and shows this by her daily messages and efforts. Even with his lacking response, she is adement to get her man.
This also hold true on the flip side. My profile yields to countless messages everyday, from men that ressemble the zombies in Michael Jacksons Thriller video. What he is lacking in his pants, he makes up for in his head. He definitely has peaked my interest with his bragging about all the things he will do to my breasts. YUMMY! And his profile says he is ‘looking for a relationship’? Man, this guy is a catch! lol
Superficial? In part yes! Why would someone who puts such hard work into themselves, not expect, or feel deserving of the same.
These people need love too, you say? They do, and they can start by finding it in a more fitting match for what they are offering.
Superficial yes!!!…because this handsome buff guy may need love in his life, but he also has a need to be able to get a hard hard on when he looks at her. And love doth not make, or keep it hard.
It may be hard to find that person, but the need to ‘keep it hard’ always prevails.
Confidence and misconceived perception of one’s self, are two different things…
-> and + Does not imply a match.
There’s so much more thought and reflection that goes into this, but this at least paints the brief concept…
Have thoughts on this…fire away…I’m all ears
So with this changing weather, I have taken on the tedious task of turning over the seasons in my closet. Out with the summer wear as it’s packed away for next year, and in comes all the fall and winter gear. As we retire our cute little flip flops, wedged sandals and sun dresses, we dust off our boots and sweaters. I made a comment on Facebook the other day that it was so chilly, I was ‘…busting out my UGGS’… This was met with several comments with mixed reviews. All of my female friends posted in agreement that they too were bringing out their UGG type boots and were excited to be warm and cozy. Some differing opinions came from the likes of male friends, including my husband. My husbands opinion was received loud and clear as he stated that most men do not find UGG type boots attractive.
This raised the question of, who do we dress for? And who’s opinion matters most? I would agree that UGG type boots are far from sleek and sexy, but I do find them to have a certain cute factor. The problem is that most people who would agree would likely be women. While all women are not huge fans of this EWOK type look, I find them to have a certain ‘snow bunny’ type of appeal. Most times we look to our girlfriends for fashion advise or approval on certain items and even dress in ways we know other women would approve. That being said, when we walk out of the house do we want for women to look in envy or for guys to drool over our look?
Comfort is key for many women and in my everyday life it is not practical for me to be running around in 5 inch heels all day long. As women we often seek comfort when we dress, and if it were up to me I’d likely be running around in PJ bottoms and UGGS all day long. There is no shame in my game and I am the girl that you will find in Target wearing rollers in her hair with big sunglasses on as I run my errands. Obviously this is a much different look I sport on the weekends when I am fully done up and out on the town. I happen to be someone who dresses to the likes of my husband and his opinion matters most. If I have a decision to make between outfits, I always seek his approval on what looks best. After all, the person who’s opinion matters most is my husbands. I try to balance it out cause if it were up to my husband I’d be wearing 6″ stiletto’s to the grocery store.
Women tend to be much more fashion forward with their attire and a lot of times an outfit that a girlfriend may think is ‘Uber cute’, our spouses may find hideous. I know there are tons of differing opinions out there, as some women could care less what other people think about the way they dress. Even going as far as saying that they don’t dress for any man and as long as they are happy with the way they look, then too bad for everyone else.
Personally, when I think of dressing sexy or cute, the opinion of my partner matters. After all he is the one person who should find me sexy or cute because he is the person I am trying to attract. What are your thoughts? Are UGGS cute or do you find them UGGLY? When you think about shopping or dressing, who do you have in mind? I want to hear what you guys think! Ladies, who are we dressing for? And for the men, do you appreciate that we dress to impress? Or do you think that we care to much about what our girlfriends think?
I’m not one for commercial holidays as I think it has more benefit for the companies that market everything from greeting cards to restaurants swarmed with forced gatherings lol… However I am one for celebrating people and their efforts. Not only is it a day to celebrate those among us who are great fathers and father figures, but also those who have passed on and have left us with their legacy.
Merely being a biological father does not give one entitlement to being celebrated, as it comes very easy to donate your DNA in the making of a child. Fathers Day is a celebration of the years of effort and offerings a man instills in the raising of a child into adulthood. I for one have experienced this first hand as I celebrate Fathers Day for the contributions my husband has made towards my son. It takes a great man to raise a child, but it takes an even greater man to raise someone else’s child. This effort and love comes from the commitment and love he has for me and everything that embodies what I represent. This is evident when I hear my son speak of my husband as he calls him ‘my dad’. This is something I never pushed on him and was always content with him calling my husband by his first name. I don’t believe in forcing anything on an individual as things need to be created naturally. This bond has flourished over time and naturally on it’s own, my husband has gained this title. It comes from the selfless act of providing for a child not only through monetary givings and security but emotional security. Eventually those qualities that we pass on and instill in our children, play out and form who they become as adults. I am thankful for the efforts my husband has put forward and the influence he has had in shaping a fine young man.
On this day, I will also be reminded of the great man that brought me to who I am today. Father, dad, daddy…best friend…are all titles he bared during his time as my leader and inspiration. As children we place so much trust and and use as a source of security from this relationship. My father was physically in my life until the age of 26 years old. He still has presence in my life today as I am a walking, talking product of his efforts. Even though my father passed away 10 years ago, his teachings and lessons are played out in my everyday life. This is a man that devoted his entire existence to his children and their happiness. No one in life is perfect, yet as a child my father was the model of a perfect man. Now being an adult I can look back and analyze things that may have made him less than perfect, but his efforts and dedication is what made him the best father one could ever ask for. As children we may not have that mental maturity to show our gratitude and at times may even come across as ungrateful. However, as we mature we become thankful for even the times that we may have harbored a discontent for their decisions.
My brother (who is 3 years my junior) struggles with this loss as it took place at the onset of his manhood. This struggle plays out in his everyday life as he is burdened with thoughts of my father not having stayed around to see him become a man himself and a father to his own children. Things like ‘…would he have been proud?’ And even though this has become a source of much contemplation in my brothers life, I sit back and chuckle… He is literally a carbon copy of my father. The traits that he has formed and habits that he embodies are a replica of what my dad represented. I mean, minus the heavy Greek accent and little qualities that perhaps you learn from and re-perfect, he has become the man that my father was and the man that my father would have wanted him to be. It makes me happy and proud to have my brothers presence in my life, as it is a little piece of my father that sticks around everyday.
What is even more mind boggling is the common thing you hear about women seeking men that have qualities similar to that of their father. When I met my husband it was almost eerie how he resembled my father in personality and demeanor. The things he would say would play out verbatim on how my father would word things. I found myself immediately drawn in to his presence because of these qualities. This is further solidified when I see how well my brother and my husband get along. It’s weird how in this cosmic universe, people with such similar qualities gravitate to one another.
When I think of a day that celebrates these great men, I am reminded of how grateful I am for the childhood I had and all the great memories I take with me. My husband always says that one of his greatest goals in life is to make his mark in this world and leave something behind. A man’s greatest mark is made by the legacy he leaves behind. It is not found in the people he leaves behind or the things he may have created, but in the efforts and offerings he has made. A man’s greatest mark is the influence he has made through his efforts. And though they may not notably bare his signature to the public eye, they are embedded in the hearts that he has helped shape.
I am very fortunate in my life to have been graced by the influence of such great men. Even though I find myself saddened at times that I cannot simply pick up the phone to call my father and physically hear his voice, the sound of his presence remain clear and loud in my soul. When I think of these great men such as my father, brother and husband, I am blessed that such great influence is found in the signature of their spirit.
Our gratitude may not always be voiced, but my appreciation travels deeply for I have been blessed that these great men have selflessly shared their offerings and have enriched not only my life but also my soul.
To my father who has left me the greatest legacy and to my husband and brother that continue to share theirs, I am forever thankful and filled with gratitude. I love you…
I came across this story through Facebook and felt compelled to share. It involves Starbucks and an employee being reprimanded on the floor and in public. further more, it involves a bully manager that made it more than clear that she had an intolerance for this kid’s gay lifestyle. Regardless of the actual issues, it sparks my interest as I am totally against people being bullied and unprofessional mannerisms of a corporation. Starbucks may not foster this managers mentality or even allow it, but she represents the company. I am happy she got caught, as this poor kid would have been stuck in a ‘he said, she said scenario’ This proves one thing I totally try to reinforce. As a member of the community, never just walk away. If it appears someone needs help, support or in distress, you are part of the problem if you choose to do nothing at all and walk away. If it were you, you would want someone to come to your aid.
Here is both the article from the Huffington Post and the blog of the bystander that witnessed the situation. Please bring awareness to this and as a collective community let’s force big companies to take action. By reposting this to your wall, you are helping to make your community a better place.
Huffington Post Article:
Blogger letter from witness:
Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived this species of men. A Knighthood of gents that roamed the earth with honorable valor. These ‘gents’ spent their days gracing the earth with courteous gestures towards women…holding a door open, pulling out her seat and waiting for her to be seated first, and just a general principle of ‘Ladies first’ mentality. Though somewhat extinct in today’s society this species can be scarcely found in remote areas and less seldom in large cities.
Chivalry: The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood. And/or The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
As women we historically title the perfect suitor as a ‘Knight in shining armor’. Not that we seek a guy clad in metal, more so than the qualities that he encompasses. Even well after Medieval times and for many decades and even centuries, such a species existed. I’m not sure when all dwindled down to a scarce following, but at some point it became less and less evident in the world of ‘courtship’. Perhaps it was around the time women started to proclaim their need for equality and these dudes finally said ‘Oh thank God…it’s about time, bitch hold your own door!’ I am all about having equal sexual rights in standard society. Things such as being able to vote (is a no brainer), having access to the same resources and education etc… However, when it comes to courtship and the ‘battle of the sexes’ I really have no need for equality. Now before you go getting your thongs all bunched up, I will say that it may not be for everyone but it does apply to my dating mentality…to an extent.
I am not one for being seated at a restaurant and for my gent to instruct the waiter ‘…and for the little lady, she will be having a leaf of lettuce and an almond sliver…’ There is a difference between being courteous and being controlling. There have been many instances such as today where I pulled up to a Dunkin Donuts to grab an ice coffee. As I exited my car a man had arrived at the same time in the parking lot and proceeded towards the door. In such an obvious manner, he raced and hurried his pace to arrive at the door before me. As I was literally clipping on his heels, he opened the door to enter the store and immediately let the door go basically closing right on my nose. Inside, I proceeded towards the line as this man had first gone to the condiment stand to grab some napkins and then walked over to the line and squeezed himself in front of me. His mentality being that since he entered the premises before me and even though he did not enter the line directly, he likely felt as though he held priority to service as I entered after him. You would think that as a courtesy he would have allowed me to keep my place in line and stand behind me? If he had made this gesture, I would have reciprocated with a ‘No really that’s ok, go ahead’. I don’t expect for women to always hold precedent in situations as I would extend the same courtesy, but at least make the gesture.
Here’s the thing…I don’t expect a guy to pay each and every time I am out on a date. But I sure as Hell expect him to at least offer and put up a fight (at the minimum lol). What men fail to realize is that these gestures are all things that we as women look at when sizing up the ‘ideal man’. There are many times when I am walking in to the local mart at the gas station and a gentleman will hold the door open for me, even while I am still many steps away from the door. A simple gesture as this already has me thinking in my head that this is a good guy. Either that or he’s trying to get laid, either way at least he gets points for the effort…lol
I have many male friends who happen to be very successful and financially comfortable. However, when it comes to dating, they keep a tightly sealed pocket. Not every woman is a gold digger and looking for hand outs, but we are looking for old fashioned chivalry or at the least the gesture of such. I for one, and I know I speak for many woman who share this sentiment, are turned off by a cheap man or one that lacks courteous qualities. There is no need to empty your bank account trying to swoon a woman, as it is more the quality and behavior that one inhabits.
When it comes to courtship, old fashioned is good. There are obvious things that we as women look at that allows us to form an opinion about a guy very early on in a relationship.
Things that show us chivalry is not dead:
1) Holding a door open for us or pulling out our chair in a restaurant. That in itself is good enough, and there is no need to stand up every time we excuse ourselves to the bathroom.
2) Walking out to the car and opening her door first, allowing her to get in and then walking around to get in the car.
3) Asking us our input as to whether or not we are having a good time, or would like to eat at a certain restaurant (unless it’s a surprise, then just do your homework and make sure she is not deathly allergic to shellfish before taking her out for surf and turf)
4) Making sure she makes it home safely after a date, or even asking her to call/text you when she gets in.
5) When finally engaging in sexual activity, being courteous to her comfort and limitations, as opposed to simply grabbing her head as though you were trying to execute a drowning simply to direct her closer to your prized possession. We are pretty worldly when it comes to such stuff and have a pretty good bearing on where everything is located. If need be, we can find our way there on our own but thanks for the forced navigation.
Things that make us think you were raised by wolves in a cave and are the main suspect in the death of chivalry:
1) Taking us to a Roadside Steakhouse that serves steak, steak and steak, when you know your date is a vegetarian.
2) Jumping into the car first and starting the ignition, slapping it into reverse and starting to roll out, all the while, we are still standing outside yanking on a locked door handle.
3) Ignorantly sitting at a restaurant table after dinner when the check is delivered, in awkward conversation as though the check was not even in sight. More so, waiting for her to look away, so you can ever so slightly nudge the check closer to her side of the table.
4) Once again finding yourself engaged in sexual activity and racing to the ‘finish’ line before she can even bat an eyelash and you are already rolled over snoring with your face pasted in drool on the pillow.
These are all things that make one look less like a Knight in shining armor and more of a dulled neanderthal.
I am sure there are many women who beg to differ and could care less for such gestures and actually find them insulting and questioning their ability to be self sufficient. However, I think you are more inclined to find a lady who is at the least flattered by such behavior and appreciates the effort. As a guy, you might not always hit these all right on the mark, but even a few shows an attempt. If you happen to be the dude that had a date Saturday night and it played as: You taking your vegan date to a roadhouse joint, making her pay for your bloodied steak dinner, tried to give her GPS training to your willy by shoving her head to your crotch and driving her home consisted of her hanging on for dear life to the passenger door handle as you rolled outta the lot…then chances are this is why she hasn’t returned your call.
If you follow the news you are well aware of the political fuckery that has been clogging the headlines. And no, I am not speaking of Arnie the ‘Terminator’ and his love child. It’s the great Weiner-Gate debate with Politician Anthony Weiner who has been accused of texting a naughty pic of his ‘weiner’ to a college girl. It is all too easy for associated jokes about his last name and the actual situation. He maintains that someone hacked his account and sent the photo and that it was not him. Well being that I’m not one for much political discussion, let’s focus on what I usually do take interest in…his penis, nd the sending of this pic.
With all the technology we have today, ‘sexting’ is extremely popular through many genres of people ranging from the high school kids all the way up to dirty old men. If you don’t know me by now, I will proudly state that not only am I a huge fan but also participant in the exchange of such photos. It’s fun and a great tool for arousing the sexual senses. That being said, I must proclaim with much infliction that dudes sending a picture of their penis IS NOT HOT! Yes, as women we pretty much love everything ‘cock’ associated. However, the male anatomy is not viewed by society the same way the female anatomy is. Women have historically been viewed as visual art and the esthetic beauty of the female naked body is adored and praised by the masses. There are handfuls of erotic dance clubs in every town across the nation that cater to men and their need to sit back and enjoy a show of such naked display. If you think about it, there are not as many clubs that cater to women watching men strip down naked.
They are around, and most times such places are attended by women going out for some whacky crazy fun or a bachelorette party. Here’s the secret guys, we don’t pine over wanting to see men bounce around with their schlonger flapping about. I can’t speak for every woman but I am confident that the majority of them find nothing appealing about such activity. Like seriously? A bunch of dudes running out on stage all dressed like the various trades of YMCA…cop, construction worker…etc… Here’s a clue, most times this ‘YMCA’ type display is enjoyed by the gay community. Other gay dudes may love to watch such display of cock bouncing, but it’s just that… women find it lacking masculinity and having an association with gay men. The part of the strip show we do find appealing? Everything from revealing the chest, muscles, even butt…legs..etc.. As these all symbolize masculinity. The second the donger comes out, we are far from thinking ‘Oh man, I can hardly contain myslef!’. Yes, the presence of a sexual element in the room is erotic, but that is about it.
The vision itself of a penis bouncing around is somewhat comical and feminizing. I would much rather be in the presence of a penis as it partakes in any activity that makes a man look more like a man. Perhaps in a sexual setting and the penis being present in such setting, makes it hotter. Dancing around in glitter spandex or velcro pants with a exposed penis as one appears to be doing a rendition of Richard Simmons ‘Sweating To The Oldies’ is tremendously emasculating. Read the rest of this entry »
What better way to celebrate the world not ending with a new purchase right? Not sure what all the hoopla was about with this world ending crap, but I figured that I was going to Hell with a cute new hat The husband and I went into the City to enjoy the nice weather. We have started this ritual where we grab a bite to eat, stroll the streets, grab an Asian massage and then capped off with some frozen yogurt. Don’t get too excited, it’s not one of those Asian massage places…well maybe it is and we are just not paying enough? lol… actually it’s pretty cool, they have these really cool set ups and tons of people just drop in and you can get anything from a 10 min foot rub to a full hour body massage. So as I sipped on my Starbucks coffee I decided to get my footsies treated to a 15 minute rub…so heavenly. Don’t ask me how we stumble upon these places, but if you live in Philly, you know what I’m talking about. The one’s in the City are pretty standard, out in the suburbs, you really gotta find a good place. It sure beats paying over a hundred dollars for a massage when you’re only paying half of that!
Mind you, we did find a place out in our area where they were a little more untraditional. I pretty much roll with the situation but the place out here had me thinking I was on a prank show. Seriously, like who answers their cell phone during a massage and starts speaking in their native tongue while they are working on you? And as if that was bad enough, the girl totally walks into the room as you are undressing and starts talking to you with the three english words she knows while you are standing there buck naked. Wait it gets better… At one point I start to feel her using really deep pressure and as I open my eyes through the little head hole facing the floor, I realize her feet are nowhere to be seen. She is straddled on the table sitting right on me while she is massaging lol… The best part is when the other massage girl walks right in during the whole thing, and they then proceed to excuse themselves for a moment as she leaves the door wide open and start conversing with other patrons in the hallway lol…
Where was I again? Oh yeah, MY HAT!!!! Ok, so we walk into this hat store and they had some pretty cool hats. I find this really hot huge trendy straw woven hat..nice, big and floppy. I recall seeing Kim Kardashian sporting one recently and even J Lo back in the day. I am obsessed with that look. So I proceed to try it on and check myself out in the mirror. I say to the husband ‘Man, this is so cool for the beach!’ I look back at him through the mirror and he is killing himself laughing. I’m like ‘What?’ He says to me ‘People may wear those, but not at the Jersey shore’. Ok, first of all, I was not gonna wear it JUST at the shore, but even if I did, so what? lol… I’m the type of person where there is no shame in my game and the bigger the better lol… I really take no issue with how people perceive me in public. I’m the girl who will hit the gym every morning with full on sunglasses as I work out. What? It’s my daytime look. Tell me that I am not the only one that will not bother with make up and instead throw on a huge pair of oversized shades. Mind you, all my sunglasses are prescription cause I can’t see too well without them, but still. If I tell you how many people take issue with this and have said something to me at the gym. Whatever, I look cute…lol
So back to the hat…I will still rock the hat despite it not being shore worthy. But one thing that does matter, is that my husband needs to like it. I mean seriously, if my husband was rocking Speedos at the beach and I seriously thought they were repulsive I would hope that my opinion mattered. At the end of the day I dress for myself, but I also dress for my husband to find me sexy. So now I really want this hat and the husband thinks it looks obnoxious but he does say that if anyone can pull it off it should be me. He then says ‘If you really want it, let’s get it’… Bingo! So I now have this huge ass hat sitting in my dressing room with no where to put it…lol I really like it, and even though I’m barely 5’2 and this thing will look like it sprouted legs and started walking…I personally think I’ll look cute
Anyone catch the new season of New Jersey Housewives on Bravo this week? Is it just me, or has this show gone Guid-Ville?
I am the first to admit, that even though I am repulsed by many reality shows, there are a few that I am addicted to. The Housewives series on Bravo is among the few. I watch most of them like NY, Beverly Hills, D.C (at least until they pulled the plug), and NJ. Never really got into Orange County, it just seems like a big fat cloud of hair bleach and extensions topped off with silicone lol… I tried watching Atlanta for a minute, but I’m sorry there is no amount of money that can overshadow trash. And trust when I say it is not a race thing (before you go getting your panties bunched) because I think that Kim is ‘Queen of No Class’… she’s always puffing away on cigarette’s in that hideous wig.
New Jersey is one of the first I started watching and have seen every episode. I can’t really say that I miss Danielle, but I was sad to see Dina go. And We have no idea where Kim G. was this past episode, but let’s just say I hope she stays there! With that hideous hair of hers, she looked like a 70 year old trying to hang with the youngins. I mean you have cougars and then there’s mountain goats…you get the idea.
After watching Monday’s episode, I feel as though the show should be renamed ‘Theresa’s World’. The only relatives missing are the one’s living in Italy! Oh wait, we met them last season during their trip to their home land. Seriously? I have never seen one family better cultivated for reality tv such as this one. New housewives Melissa and Kathy are sure to bring some fuel to replace the drama of seasons past. How does Theresa have such relatives and we’ve never met them before? Melissa conveniently lives in a nice home resembling the rest of the cast. She brings youth and beauty as she appears to be the youngest of the Housewives. She seems to have it all, including the very ‘Guidofied’ husband Joe who is Theresa’s brother. Is it just me, or is it a prerequisite for men on the show to be less than 5’9? Kathy seems normal, that is until we are introduced to her husband Rich. Ummm…ok, anyone else think there is something odd looking about Rich? He looks like he’s wearing one of those fake glasses and nose get ups. And those lips..I can’t quite put my finger on it, and I don’t even want to think of how his wife stomachs putting a finger on him!
And excuse me for being ignorant to Jersey ways, but is it customary for all the women to dye their hair black, share the same hairdresser and wear your hair in stiff ringlets? The setting for this episode was a Christening, of all places to have a steroid infused machismo brawl. And what’s with Theresa’s husband Joe? Should he even be getting physical in his condition? Last time I checked, fist fighting during pregnancy is highly frowned upon. I mean, with that stomach, he must be at least 7 months along?
Let’s touch on Teresa’s brother Joe and his emotional issues shall we? He couldn’t decide between flipping tables or curling up sobbing in the fetal position. I mean, he could have saved something for the finale, no? He just came out balls to the wall! How do you recover from something like that? All I have is the nickname ‘pussy’ permeated in my head. And let us not forget about Melissa’s two sisters who totally remind me of Cinderella’s evil step-sisters. Cinderella is the only way to describe Melissa, I mean who else lounges at home in an ostrich feathered sweater while serving up mortadella ‘sangwiches’.
I feel sorry for the other Housewives who now pale in comparison to this rowdy bunch. The hottest thing at Caroline’s Sunday dinner was the chili, as they were being serenaded by crickets. The funny thing is, it’s like a train wreck. You are too horrified to look, but can’t stop looking at the same time. I for one, as critical as I am, will be tuning in for some good smutty drama this season. Amongst all the hairspray, brawls and spanx, it looks worthy of setting a DVR series recording. It’s the only way to go. How else will you fast forward through the annoying ‘Andy’ promo commercials… And for those of you who don’t know who Andy is, then you don’t know Bravo. You know, the fella that curses the day he was born a man with secret desires of being a Housewive… yeah him.
For those of you that follow HWONJ, I’m sure to have follow up commentary on this season.
In today’s fast paced world it’s easy to see how cyber dating has become so mainstream. Once upon a time I’m sure many people viewed on line dating as a lame cop out for singles who didn’t quite cut it for the real dating world. I for one used to be one of those people that thought looking for a soul mate through your computer was reserved for people who needed to hide or losers who didn’t have what it took to go to the local bar and meet that guy. Well I sure enjoyed my slice of crow pie after I myself met my soul mate on line. And when people used to ask me ‘how did you two meet?’ I was way too embarrassed to admit that it was on line and felt the need to concoct this elaborate story of me rollerblading at the park and stumbling into the arms of my Prince Charming. Nowadays, it has become so mainstream and there is no shame in admitting that one has thrown their fate into the cyber world of dating.
Between work, family and all the other million things we cram into our daily lives, who’s got time to get dolled up every weekend and hit the club cruising for ‘Mr. Right’. And these days I’m sure many can agree that the local bar scene is swarming with tons of ‘Mr. Wrongs’. Long gone are the days that you would get all primped up, shave your legs, wear matching panty and bra for that ‘just in case’ all to strategically place yourself propped up at the corner of the bar as a show piece waiting for that guy to come up and strike up a convo. I mean it would be all fine and dandy if all the prospects stopping by to ‘pick you up’ were solid 10′s, but most would be a 2 or 3 on a good day. It could easily be compared to sifting through a pile of shit looking for that tiny gem. And why in Hell would one have to endure hours of preparation just to partake in a night of shit sifting? In the hopes that they would come home with a semi prospect? When you can instead opt out of the 2 hour beauty process, plop your unshaved, un-matching panty/bra ass on the couch and peruse through endless prospects in the comfort of your own home.
Don’t get me wrong I love any excuse to get dolled up and hit the town, but for good reason. Not to waste it on ‘Hi I’m John, I saw you from across the room and I had to come say Hi’…. Long awkward pause as you try to determine what that stench is that could only be described as a small animal decomposing for the past 36 days, when you realize that it’s likely John’s breath from the 17 olives he had in his not so dry martini. ‘….I’m a pretty out going guy, and I’d like to take you out sometime’. Yeah great so translation, on a good day John changes his underwear and hits the local gym every 3 weeks. I’m sure his wife would be thrilled at the idea that he would skip out on little Johnny’s soccer game to ‘run errands’..errr I mean sweep you off your feet. Or maybe it’s Todd who whisks over and delivers his prized ever so original ‘Is your father a thief? He must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes’. Great buddy thanks for coming out, I think that’s the DJ I hear paging you, your mother is out front with your ride home…BEAT IT! Like seriously? I’d much rather be soaking in a cucumber facial as I block your ass from contacting me on the dating site.
So now that we have determined that dating on line is cool, let’s talk about the ‘not so cool’ factors. There are so many ‘no no’s’ that I would make a killing starting up a PR firm dedicated solely to helping these poor buggers with a fighting chance in the cyber world. Like any game there are rules, and though the average person would see them as obvious others just don’t get it. It plays out like this:
So I got to thinking, actually I think about this topic often but more so lately. This whole thing about single women over the age of 39, I say 39 as the cut off because in my eyes a Cougar is a single woman 40+. I thought about it a lot today as I have friends who recently split up because of an age difference. He is 23 and she is 40. They were dating for over a year and they just recently broke up. She didn’t see it coming as all was blissful with her boy toy and then he dropped the bomb saying that he wouldn’t be ready to have kids for another 10 years, at which time her baby making factory would essentially be out of business. She was heart broken, and in very fitting fashion it appears that he has already moved on to his next catch which happens to be a young and buxom 20 something chickie.
Then I got to thinking how unfair we are as a society when it comes to the age old battle of the sexes. First of all, it’s pretty acceptable by societies standards for an older man to date a much younger female. Men are pretty much marketable at any age, starting from their 20′s and all the way up until…well up until the time where they can’t get it up anymore. And even then, with a lofty bank account a man could essentially court any young beauty. When a much older woman dates a young guy society tends to raise a brow as it appears awkward and that he has this whole mama issue going on. As well the chances of this type of relationship working is pretty slim because at some point she will age even more and he may be looking for a trade in.
As divorce rates are at an all time high, there are more and more 40 year old females hitting the single market looking to make another go at it. Some of these women are discouraged from the get go and a lot of them throw themselves into their kids, rather than deal with being single and dating. While other women are excited to hit the open market with a vengeance. They go to the salon and get a new fresh hair do, go out and buy new clothes to wear to the bar this weekend with the girls, even try new beauty regimens like waxing and different make up. The big night comes..Saturday night and you are headed out with your girls! This is your first night out as a single woman and you are ready to paint the town red! In fitting fashion you wear a hot little red number that you picked up at the mall this week (not leopard…never leopard…save it for after you land your new man. Before then it’s just too easy to become the punch line of way to many Cougar jokes lol) You get all dolled up and you are ready for your big night! You meet your girls at the restaurant and have a fun and giggly dinner, drinking more wine than you have in years. Chatting excitedly about what’s to come later on at the bar and all the men that you are going to meet. You are anxious to get out there and potentially meet your next Prince Charming. You and your girls wrap dinner up and head on over to the bar, one that everyone talks about being the biggest pick up joint in town. You finally arrive, the moment has come and you are ready to strut your stuff.